Trying to make sense of ICE raids while listening to 1980’s hits.

Call me. I’ll arrive. You can call me any day or night.

[Join Medium to support independent discourse. Or read this article for free.]

“Six o’clock already, I was just in the middle of a dream. I was kissin’ Valentino by a crystal blue Italian stream.” We’ve all been there. “Valentino” could be anyone; the Italian stream is mandatory.

“But I can’t be late, ’cause then I guess I just won’t get paid.” Now it’s getting serious. We have bills that need paying.

1980s hits aside, I’m not sure if you have heard, but Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) is raiding places where people go to work, get paid and, you know, afford life. Handle their business. Trump’s ICE claims they are looking for “Fulana de Tal,” whose name is written on their piece of paper (a fake warrant printed on dot matrix), but they are really looking for folks in the surround sound.

ICE has a 75-person daily quota for arrests, per field office. With 25 field offices across the United States, that’s 1,875 immigrants arrested on civil charges per day. Civil, not criminal. Fulana is just one lady, and she’s not where ICE shows up, guns blazing. But other people are and get taken. “Please don’t bother tryin’ to find her. She’s not…